And that was 2020!

 What a year! 

That's certainly an understatement for us all but especially for me and my family .... I can honestly say it has been horrendous 

BUT we did have some fun along the way ..... here's my 2020 story! 

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On December 6th 2019, following a biopsy on 28th November,  I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer and my world turned upside down. I have had a needle phobia all my life which hasn't got easier with age and all the tests and scans were certainly a challenge to get through, especially having an MRI 5pm on Christmas Eve. 

My first operation to remove some lymph nodes was on December 27th. A trip to University Hospital Coventry and Warwickshire for a nuclear injection before returning to George Eliot Hospital for the operation. Everyone at the hospitals were all so kind, easing my stress from so many needles. Although uncomfortable I felt fine in myself and even managed our trip to Birmingham a few days later for a concert with our good friends. 

New Year's Eve came with a difference, one of the hardest procedures. To know where the tumour was the doctors inserted a small clip under local anaesthetic, just too many needles involved but a necessity. 

Happy New Year to 2020 and the treatment path set for me was 12 sessions of chemotherapy to shrink the tumour, spaced three weeks apart, followed by an operation to remove the tumour and finally radiotherapy as a preventative against future disease. A long road full of bumps but it looked positive for a full recovery by my birthday in September. 

I'm always up for a challenge and I'm always wanting to help others and make the most of any situation so I decided to do Dry January in aid of Cancer Research and the Breast Care Unit at George Eliot Hospital. Philippa decided to do it too and although we started the year together she continued her challenge at home in Wales. 

We were amazed at the support, thank you to everyone who donated, it helped me get going on my journey and I know the funds raised will help others in the future. 

We had a family get together on 1st February to mark the end of our challenge, celebrating with a bottle of bubbly. I'd had two sessions of chemo by then and lost my hair but I wasn't feeling too bad, just very tired the week of my treatment. 

Later in February Hubby and I had a few days in Cardiff Bay to get some sea air and visit our daughter and her partner. It was the ideal place to visit for many reason, one being that we knew the area and I knew how far I could walk. It was easy too to keep safe as with chemotherapy your immune system is low and you need to be careful of infection. We had a lovely time away, little did we know it would be our only holiday in 2020. 

Since 2014 (to celebrate our Scout Group's 100th birthday) we have been hosting wine tasting nights for the leaders and friends. With my chemotherapy being every three weeks the third week was quite good, I felt ok and could still do things if a little tired. That said we decided to host another wine tasting and what a fun night we had, a great way to forget for a while all the yuk stuff. 

My treatment plan was going well, I won't lie the first week of chemo was not good. I felt physically and mentally ill but it eased in the second week and was managable by the third. I remember saying to Nick how I wanted it to stop and that I was struggling with going for each session knowing I would be ill again, but I had to keep going.

Little did we know how life would change ... for us all. 

Early March it became apparent on the news that Covid was a real concern. March 16th our house went into shielding, no going out not even for a walk and all our shopping delivered. It was quite a shock to Michael, Nick and myself but something we had to do with my immune system being so low.

One thing we started to do was a quiz night every Saturday with our good friends. We're not technical and don't use Zoom but we did manage to have a group chat using Messenger. We thought it would be a short 'hi' - to our amazement we chatted for over 5 hours and have been having quiz nights every Saturday ever since .... our first chat of 2021 will be our 40th video call! 

Towards the end of March my Consultant rang to say because of Covid all patients had had their treatment reviewed. Having looked at my cancer and how I was struggling the chemotherapy the decision was made to operate on the tumour now and have follow up chemotherapy and radiotherapy. 

It was all quite a shock but I was so grateful to be having the cancer taken out. Typically for me it was April 1st when Hubby drove me to UHCW for a wire to be inserted into the tumour. This is a trace for the Consultant Surgeon so very important: this was the worst procedure of all my treatments.  A return journey to George Eliot Hospital followed for my operation. All went well and I was home by early evening, a little sore but feeling positive. 

With lockdown and my recovery we stayed home, enjoying watching the birds visit the feeders on our conservatory window. A few weeks later the Consultant rang (telephone consultations were part of our new Covid ruled lives) to say all the tumour was removed and everything looked clear. My goodness it was such a relief, I knew I still had treatments to go through but now they were for protection against future problems should they arise. 

Shielding was going well, we were having regular online shopping deliveries, I was getting stronger and my next chemotherapy treatment plan set in place.... then I fell in the garden. 

I knew straight away I had broken somewhere in my arm; the journey to A&E was the most painful ever dispute Nick driving so carefully to avoid bumps. Of course with the restrictions he wasn't allowed in with me. Xrays and Scan done I found out I had broken my right humerus ball ... it wasn't funny! It's the ball end of your arm as it goes into your shoulder. I did have the option of staying in hospital (although the doctors were also warning me of the Covid situation on the wards) or going home to see a Consultant in a few days.

I chose home; it was not easy as any slight movement caused such pain, thank goodness for Oramorph. I couldn't get dressed myself and needed my food cutting up. My left hand had to learn new skills including writing for the answers on our quiz nights and stitching (I could hold the fabric in my right hand for about 15 minutes). I couldn't lie down so slept on our recliner sofa for a few weeks before managing to sleep sitting up in bed. It was a real set back, even more so as it halted my chemotherapy treatment. 

A broken arm cannot be reviewed over the phone so I had weekly visits to outpatients. The hospital staff were amazing, I was shielded throughout each visit, rushed through x-ray and waited in empty consultant rooms instead of in the main area with other patients. 

I had kept my arm very still, mainly because it was so painful to move, which the Consultant said had been the best possible thing to do as the gap in the break had lessened showing the bone was moving back together and regrowing. Had this not been happening I would have needed an operation to have it plated, the last thing I wanted. 

It took three months before I could sleep lying down, I was so tired as most nights I only slept for a couple of hours. We did have fun times too though; we had a VE party in the cul-de-sac with everyone having a distanced afternoon tea and when restrictions lifted slightly we managed a visit to the Bowling Club where we are social members. I stayed outside and away from everyone as although not shielding I still had to be careful. My Mum and Keith visited us, the first time we'd seen them in months. We all sat in the garden with masks on as I was starting my treatments soon and more setbacks would have been unbearable.

The summer was short for us, a couple of weeks in June and the last week of July. This was because the Oncologist decided it would be best to have the radiotherapy first. The concern was since my operation I'd had no further treatment and chemotherapy could not be started until my bone had healed. I had 10 days of radiotherapy in early July, oh it was funny. Because I couldn't move my arm it was hard to be in the correct position on the treatment bed, the radiologists were so good helping me and we eventually worked out that using my sling around my leg for my hand to go through keep my injured right arm still during treatment !

Hubby and I made the most of the sunny days by venturing out a little. I felt quite good in myself as I had very little side effects from the radiotherapy. We had some great walks, not far but it was good to get out even if we did get stuck in a maize field. 

There is a bonus to staying home, Nick bought a new BBQ and we made great use of it. Obviously after my 'shielding' experience in the garden every step was taken with great care. It was a very odd time but like I say we did have fun.

Midway through my second set of chemotherapy my blood count dropped and treatment was paused for a few weeks. My Oncologist thought it best to reduce the strength of the dose as I was finding it quite difficult, this new set was weekly so although a lower strength there was little time inbetween to recover. 

Sod's law (I've encountered this many times in 2020) one treatment fell on my birthday, not the best present especially with my needle phobia. It turned out to be the worst session taking the nurse five attempts to fit the canula. Not a happy birthday until Philippa and Michael (her partner) surprised me by arriving home to celebrate. Due to restrictions they stayed a local hotel and the day after my birthday, with help from our son Michael, they laid on a very special afternoon tea, I felt very spoilt.

My treatments continued but I was getting weaker and weaker, struggling to walk around the house and found going upstairs was a major challenge. My blood count dropped again so another break from treatments but this time my Oncologist decided my body needed to recover and having had nine sessions of chemo drugs that would have enough benefit for the future. 

October was a nothing month, I spent the whole time sitting on the sofa. Although I have done this most of the year I really was just sitting on the sofa, to walk to the bathroom exhausted me and at times I was out of breathe just stitching or drinking a coffee. I know my blood was very low because they had been considering a transfusion. 

Over the year I have raised funds and given personal donations for Cancer Research, the Breast Care Unit, Macmillan and the Dorothea Ward at GEH and when I noticed 'Wear it Pink' in aid of Breast Care Now I just had to join in. Being in late October it seemed a fitting end to me finishing my treatment.  Ending my treatment also meant the end of my cancer - whoo hoo and a big PHEW - it will be six monthly check ups but fingers crossed all will be fine.

My family and some friends joined in and wore pink for the day, they also very kindly added a donation and together we raised £300

November was the month when I have began to feel like myself again, my strength improved and I am managing a daily walk. To begin with that was just to the corner and back, then the post box and back, then round the block and now I am walking about a mile a day (unless it's pouring down or icy). My strength is the thing I really want to improve as if I cook dinner, do any housework or just do too much pottering around I need to retire back to my comfy sofa ... but things are improving so hopefully by the time we are free to go places I will be strong enough to do so. 

Christmas this year was very different with Covid restrictions returning to a high level. My Mum and Keith stayed at home although we did visit (in the garden) on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. Philippa and Michael both work from home and the weeks up to Christmas they stayed in their apartment other than food shopping. This was to keep away from the possibility of catching Covid before they came here for Christmas. 

The guidance was to stay home or just meet for Christmas Day but they live too far away for a day visit. With everything that has happened in 2020 we decided as a family we could be, and needed to be, together and that as they had stayed home, as we have, we would not be spreading the virus. We didn't see anyone else during their visit so they would not take any virus back to Wales ... we are all still safe and symptom free.

It was just what I needed, to be honest I know I was feeling very low for most of the year, tears flowing for no reason and not bothering to do things but I hadn't realised how low until Christmas. Being with my amazing family had me smiling day after day and even though Christmas is over and our daughter and partner are home on Wales I certainly feel much  brighter. Hubby surprised us all with Team Hearnden sweatshirts; perfect, just perfect.

It has been a very long and extremely bumpy road which without the amazing support from Nick I would not have navigated. The 99 needles were certainly an endurance, I don't think I squeezed his hand too hard; we are joking that my 100th needle will be the Covid vaccination. 

He has been with me at every appointment and treatment (when allowed), has driven me everywhere, done the housework, the shopping and the cooking - he's been absolutely SUPERB and I love him to bits! 

Michael has been a star being an extra pair of hands at home; Philippa has kept me going with chats, messages and treat parcels in the post, and with her partner Michael, has been so supportive with video calls and surprise visits - I love all three of them so so much.

The messages from my friends have helped me stay positive and kept me smiling; special thanks to Julie, Cathy, Ann and Jane for their care and kindness.

HUGE thanks to our good friends Kathy, Rob, Alan and Bev for our entertaining quiz nights, putting up with me in my pjs and times when I have felt a bit rough. 

Looking back over 2020 I've certainly changed, just look at all my hairstyles, never ending fashion. It's growing slowly, a salt and peppper look at the moment. I wonder what it will grow like.

As we start 2021 life is no different than the last few months of 2020, no-one knows how Covid will affect us, we all have restrictions that may go on for weeks BUT one thing I have discovered over the last year is that anything is do-able, however hard it seems. 

Follow the guidelines, trust those who have more knowledge, help each other and take a day at a time .... before we know it it will be 2022 and we'll be celebrating together.

2020 was a path I do not want to follow again, I would not be able to welcome in 2021 without the knowledge and skill of all the doctors  nurses and staff at UHCW and GEH - special thanks to the following:

Dr Makam, Dr Khan and the Breast Care Team

Dr Lupton, Alison Syborn and everyone working on Dorothea Ward

Dr Pradham, the outpatient nurses and staff

The radiologists at UHCW and GEH

The Arden Centre Team at UHCW

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This blog post has been primarily for me, I don't want to relive the year but I do want to remember how far I have travelled.